Heisman Trophy-winning Auburn Tigers QB Cam Newton appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman Monday to do the nightly Top Ten List. His topic was "Top Ten Things Cam Newton Can Say Now That He Won The Heisman Trophy." Take it away, Cam:
As it is every night, that's confusingly lame and the unfunniest thing the funniest man in TV history (Letterman, not Newton) could choose to do with a portion of his show, but there it is. The list, for those of you with video disdain:
10. The 2010 version of the Heisman Trophy can hold 10,000 songs.
9. This season, I've swallowed 11 mouth guards.
8. Is it strange that after a big win, CBS announcer Verne Lundquist insists on showering with us?
7. Ok I admit it ... I have Bieber fever.
6. Next season I'm joining the cast of Glee as the gruff quarterback with the voice of an angel.
5. I'm working on my own cologne. It's called Locker Room. You're gonna love it.
4. After this I'm going on Rachael Ray to make Heisman-shaped meatloaf.
3. I'm not playing in the National Championship Game. I've got a math quiz the next day.
2. Even I have no idea how the heck the BCS works.
1. Need to see ID? How about this? [Heisman pose.]