Auburn's Toomer's Corner Trees Poisoned, Expected To Die

The trees of Toomer's Corner, a landmark location for Auburn Tigers fans, have been poisoned with a lethal dose of herbicide, the school announced today. The substance, Spike 80DF, was discovered after a Jan. 27 Finebaum caller publicly took credit for the vandalism. The school looked into the matter, found the poison, and does not expect the trees to make it.

Toomer's Corner is the designated gathering place for Auburn fans after big football victories. Once they get there, the throw toilet paper at the trees.

Given the fact that the story was broken on Finebaum's show, Alabama's campus was also recently struck by a work of horticultural expression, and HELLO IT'S AUBURN, the Toomer's Corner disaster is presumed to be the responsibility of an Alabama Crimson Tide Fan.

The City of Auburn's police force is investigating the matter.

When last we spoke of Toomer's Corner in these parts, a Georgia Bulldogs fan was being accused of attempting to set fire to one of the mighty oaks.

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