Hyatt Hotels, New York Mets Conspire To Injure Baseball Players With Shoddy Mattresses

At first it was merely a cute story about Chipper Jones' newfound appeal - and power - on Twitter, but now the Atlanta Braves' third basemen is out of Friday night's game against the Mets with back spasms, something he's attributing to the beds at the Grand Hyatt of New York. No joke, per the AJC:

Jones also missed several other games in past years for back tightness or spasms, and he could only remember it happening after he slept on the beds at the Grand Hyatt hotel in New York, the Braves’ team hotel in Manhattan for many years.

"I probably need to see about staying somewhere else," he said, smiling. "Now I can’t order room service either."

This makes sense, as viewed by the pecking order of New York baseball, the Mets' nefarious plan to slowly irritate opposing players' spines would trail the old Steinbrenner policy that all opposing hitters with an average above .400 in the Bronx be "disappeared" off the southern side of Staten Island.

Good Lord, Amazin's, y'all really are low rent in every way.

For more on the Atlanta Braves and Old Man Chipper Jones, check out Talking Chop and Baseball Nation.

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