The picks:
Cincinnati @ Baltimore (-7). AJ Green is out, which hurts the casual fan just as much as the Bengals. Is there another player on Cincinnati's roster you'd tune in to see? There's always the allure of a ginger quarterback, sure, but that freakshow carnival sideshow vibe aside, this game should be dreadful. Please tell me you're not banking on Joe Flacco for fireworks. PICK: Cincinnati
Jacksonville @ Cleveland (-1). A Browns fan recently scolded me, saying I never pick his team to cover. Sorry, my friend, the trend continues. Both teams are 3-6, but Cleveland's wins come against teams that are a collective 5-23. The Jags, a far more respectable 11-17 (ok, the 0-10 Colts are skewing both numbers). Take the road team, or better yet, ignore this game's existence. PICK: Jacksonville
Carolina @ Detroit (-6 1/2). The Lions need a big win here to quiet the whispers of implosion, and build up steam headed into Thursday's Green Bay game. The Panthers need to score. A lot. Oddly enough, probably the most exciting of the early games. PICK: Detroit
Tampa Bay @ Green Bay (-14). A lot to a little. PICK: Green Bay
Dallas (-7) @ Washington. A lotter to a littler. This is the one game I'm betting real money on this week. Washington is really, really horrible, you guys. The fact they started 3-1 is up there with John Mayer's popularity as one of life's great mysteries. PICK: Dallas
Buffalo @ Miami (-3). Three reasons you would watch this game: 1) Gambling. 2) Fantasy football. 3) Sadomasochistic tendencies. Can barely help you with the first one, absolutely can't help you with the last one, and your fantasy season is over if you're relying on anybody from these teams. Get some fresh air, go play with your kids. PICK: Miami
Oakland @ Minnesota (PICK). Ugh, and stop typing that "No, dude, I have Fred Jackson on my fantasy team and he's awesome!" No, he's not - hasn't scored a touchdown in over a month. Your team sucks, and your children miss their daddy. PICK: Oakland
Tennessee @ Atlanta (-6 1/2) I have yet to go back and watch a replay of last week's New Orleans loss. Haven't even seen a clip. From my seat in the Dome, I couldn't really tell how far the 4th down play - you know what, can't have this conversation again. I hate the Saints. Ugh. Let this game act as some much-needed Listerine. PICK: Atlanta
Seattle @ St. Louis (-3). At the end of each Sunday's late games, the NFL RedZone Channel does a cool montage of every touchdown, in order. Don't be surprised if this game fails to appear a single time. PICK: St. Louis
Arizona @ San Francisco (-10). PICK: San Francisco
San Diego @ Chicago (-3 1/2) Vegas' season-long infatuation with San Diego is perplexing. The Chargers have lost four straight, haven't beat a team with a winning record, but they're slight underdogs on the road against a far superior Bears team? Don't get it. Bet away, Merrill. Merrill, bet away. PICK: Chicago
Philadelphia @ NY Giants (-5 1/2). On Thursday, this line sat at Giants (-3 1/2). A day later, it was a touchdown. Now it seems to have settled somewhere in the middle - and that means no one knows how "Vince Young, NFL starter" will translate in 2011. I have my doubts. PICK: NY Giants
Kansas City @ New England (-16 1/2). I was hedging on this pick, reading Tyler Palko's Wikipedia page for clues. And then I realized I was reading one of this game's starting quarterback's Wikipedia pages to learn something about him. Yeah, never mind. It's an easy one. PICK: New England
For the rest of the season, the Thursday game pick will be posted that day to Twitter: follow @joshmassey1
Last week: 8-8-0
Thursday's game: 1-0
Yearly total: 82-62-3