Halloween is this weekend, which only means one thing – Georgia will lose t…um, play Florida in Jacksonville on Saturday. That’s what this whole week is gearing toward for anyone who roots for the red and black.
Every year Georgia-Florida week feels less and less like a week to look forward to a rivalry, and more and more like the night before a final exam that you didn’t study for. If the questions are asked just the right way, there’s a slight chance you might pass the test based on what you gleaned during the semester. But you dread the arrival of test time because chances are you’re going to bomb horrifically.
So here are some things that you can use to keep yourself occupied sports-wise to distract you from the impending horror.
New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys: What does this game have to do with Atlanta? If the Cowboys win, the Falcons will stand alone as the top team in the NFC with a record of 5-2. Despite the hiccup in Philadelphia two weeks ago, the Falcons look to be well on their way to an 11- or 12-win season. This means they could be the team that ends up playing the season’s final game, which just so happens to be scheduled for the new Cowboys Stadium, where tonight’s game is being played. (See how neatly I tied that back together?)
Louisiana Tech at Boise St.: What does this game have to do with Atlanta? Absolutely nothing. Unless you need something to remind you how far the Dawgs have fallen. In 2005, when Georgia destroyed Boise State in Athens, I would have wagered my unborn third child that the Bulldogs would have come closer to a national championship than Boise State by 2010. But that is not the case, which is why I don’t gamble.
And, yes, the No. 3 team in the BCS has a blue field and plays on Tuesday.
Atlanta Hawks at Memphis Grizzlies: I don’t know if who and where you play for the opening game of the season is any indication of the league’s respect for your franchise, but I’d say opening the season in Memphis is no tip of the cap from Stern Land. This is the seventh time in the last nine seasons that the Hawks have opened the season on the road. So despite three straight playoff appearances they don’t exactly seem to get top billing at the start of the season.
Also, this may be the most shocking basketball statistic I’ve seen this year – Memphis’ preseason record: 8-0.
Florida State at NC State: It’s the ninth week of the season and Georgia Tech still has not played on Thursday night, which feels odd to me. I couldn’t care less what Tech does, as long as they keep tradition and show up and lose to Georgia at the end of the season. But I like watching them on Thursday nights. Which, of course, has nothing to do with FSU and NC State.
Atlanta Hawks at Philadelphia 76ers: Much like the Hawks, Philly is essentially fielding the same team that it had last year. Yes, they added Andres Nocioni and drafted Evan Turner. But they are basically the same team that went 27-55 last season. See, Hawks fans? Things can always be worse.
Georgia vs. Florida: It’s Georgia’s turn to be the "home" team in this game, which hopefully means players will show up wearing normal red jerseys and silver pants. If they run out wearing any other gimmicky uniform I’m going to Jacksonville and holding Verne Lundquist hostage until they go inside and change.
Georgia has won three straight games coming into this one and is actually favored in the game. Florida has lost three straight, but it comes into the game after a bye week. Also, consider that anytime there has been something to play for the last three seasons, Georgia’s collective rectum has closed up tighter than a snare drum and they play horribly. When there’s nothing on the line they’re the ’85 Bears.
Which all means that it’s final exam day, it’s an all essay test and Georgia is screwed.
And there’s no Falcons game on Sunday to cheer you up. Happy Halloween, Dawgs fans.