Doug Roberson had to split his haul of Paul Johnson quotes into two portions just so he could get his arms around. The highlights of part one:
You can’t play that way at Georgia Tech. I’ve never coached anywhere where you could play that way and win. Where you could just punch the clock. There might be a couple of teams out there that can do that. We can’t.
Sometimes, too, you just get beat. The other team has 85 on scholarship too.
Anybody can stand up on the plane and say ‘Guys, we’re coming this week,’ until you get hit in the mouth the first time. Let’s see what happens on Saturday.
[On paying close attention to upcoming opponent personnel:] You’ve got to match up, but whoever they play at receiver is going to be a good player. It’s not like they’ve got a first-round draft choice here and the guy that replaces him is a walk on.
And part two:
[On changing Anthony Allen's position to improve his blocking]: He’s had plenty of opportunities to block where he’s lined up. He needs to do better where he’s at blocking. If there was all of a sudden a magic wand and you can say ‘OK, we’ll put this guy out there and now they’ll block.’
[In response to the question "How do you coach better?"]: Coach better ... From the looks of the game, I can certainly motivate better. But you know what my experience has been in 31 years? That’s movie, tv crap. You’d better be able to motivate yourself. I’m not going to motivate you 12 Saturdays a year. Anybody that thinks you’re going to go into the locker room and somebody’s going to punch the locker, or cave in the blackboard or head butt somebody and everybody’s going to go ‘AAAAAAAAHHHH!’ It’s make believe. It doesn’t happen.
Those guys all decide how much they play. I don’t. They decide. If you earn your playing time in practice and you really want to play in the game, I’d stand by me. Because when I’m sending plays in, it might be the best way to get in because I’m not going to come look for you.
A reporter should ask Paul Johnson: "Coach, why do you think reporters are stupid?" That seems like the perfectly arranged Paul Johnson interview question for maximum annoyed dismissiveness.