Oh my goodness, the NFL postseason is here. To properly express my excitement, I could use flowery language to impart my emotions, or I could simply type the letter E in caps about 5,000 times. So now, I summarily bequeath to you, my hearty readers, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ... (Ok, you get the idea.)
Saturday, 4:30 p.m.
New Orleans (-10) @ Seattle. Trust me, Falcons fans - I've looked at this game from every angle trying to find a Seahawks victory hiding within. The Saints are going cross-country! Seattle has a legendary home crowd! It's supposed to rain, which should hamper Drew Brees! New Orleans can't run the ball without Pierre Thomas and Chris Ivory! People from Louisiana always get thrown off by modern conveniences like electricity and toilets you don't have to dig!
Just as I'm getting my hopes up, though, I remember - oh right, the Seahawks. Matt Hasselbeck. A team that recently gave up 40 points to SAN FRANCISCO. No amount of travel, jeers, precipitation or running back incontinence will throw off the Saints faithful. Silver lining, though: should N'awlins end up in the Georgia Dome next week, we should have an open-air stadium by the end of the game. "Epic" just seems too small of a word. PICK: New Orleans
Saturday, 8 p.m.
NY Jets @ Indianapolis (-2 1/2). It was my hope to enjoy a postseason without looking at Mark Sanchez's To Catch a Predator-ish attempts at facial hair, but here we sit. New York's season has run the gamut from "Hard Knocks" to contract disputes to blustery Rex Ryan press conferences to - ick - foot fetish videos.
What truly jumps out at me, though, is the end of the Jets season - three losses in the last five games, including two in which they couldn't even manage seven points. So they're going to Indy relying on their defense, and that's a bad gameplan - Peyton Manning has been plugged into a wall socket all week, and his electrochemical cyborg half-cells are at full charge. PICK: Indianapolis
Sunday's picks coming soon.
Last Week: 5-11-0
Regular Season Total: 133-116-7
Lines via SBNation.