DRINK MOAR BOOZ, UGA! You've slipped a spot in the Princeton Review's annual survey of America's top "Party Schools." Last year's bridesmaid Ohio University is tops this year, while SPEED COUNTRY rules the Top 20: Georgia (#2), Ole Miss (#4), Florida (#9), LSU (#13) and South Carolina (#20) probably prove something nasty Jim Delany's been saying this whole time.
No one embraces the Princeton Review's rankings in a proper manner: an eye-rolling shrug in the face of headline fishing McStats. Whichever winning state university's faculty and staff takes the entirely pointless, harmless "report" way too damn seriously. Cue an incensed official angrily denouncing the Review's methods as suspect. Meanwhile, post graduate thirty-somethings will ironically boast of their alma mater's "achievements," as if an Associated Press story emailed to across cubicles somehow helps justify their functional alcoholism.
Of course, the actual college students doing all this partying are oblivious, as they're either illiterate, and currently incubating with Jimmy John's and Season 3 of "The Hills" in preparation for an evening of sodomite revelry, or at one of those smart schools, hopefully reading about smarter shit than this.