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Why Jim Mora, UCLA Football Coach, Works Out For Everyone

There's been a healthy amount of strife directed towards Jim Mora from Falcons fans who objected to his chippy comments (we're as guilty as anyone else) about the franchise's 0-for-the-playoffs run since he was fired for basically being an evil version of the Tom Hanks character in "Big."

We're laying down that axe we've been grinding, and here's why: Mora's terminal foot-in-mouth disease, combined with the fact he's trying to build UCLA into a Pac-12 contender opposite USC, combined with the fact he's battling his own personal douche bag doppleganger across town is just the kind of job purgatory you'd wish upon a guy who once publicly pined to coach a sub-.500 college program across the country while still in charge of your favorite NFL team.

Mora made a dumbass comment about murders and campus safety at UCLA and USC this week and has been backtracking ever since. This pissed off Lane Kiffin, a brown belt in trolling himself, and only furthered what should be a spirited but wonderfully lopsided rivalry of douche in Los Angeles, which cradles self-important douche sports figures the way the Rust Belt used to turn out quarterbacks in the 70s.

If you're a Falcons fan, enjoy the fortcoming schadenfreude of Mora swallowing his own teeth courtesy of Oregon, his beloved Washington, Mike Leach in a few years and the Trojans on the reg, before he's fired in three years.

If you're a SEC loyalist still miffed at Kiffin, revel in the fact that he's been cursed with a mirror image troll that, much like Lane Kiffin, Tennessee Vols coach, will blather incessantly yet accomplish virtually nothing.

If you're simply a non-partisan football fan, enjoy the immense satisfaction you get from seeing two douchebags fight. This applies to every facet of life, and doesn't encourage violence. Douchebags rarely throw punches because of a constant fear of ripping their $150 Ed Hardy muscle tee.

For more on college football, check outSB Nation's college football page. If you're a Falcons fan, visit The Falcoholic.

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Photographs by coka_koehler used in background montage under Creative Commons. Thank you.