Say what you will about ESPN, but their SportsCenter and "It's not crazy. It's sports" ad campaigns are pretty much always excellent. The latest features Atlanta Braves star Jason Heyward talking with Scott Van Pelt about the process that goes into the creation of a baseball bat as that slapped-together Stanford tree mascot listens in dismay:
Trees are made of wood, you understand. In case you're stuck at work, here's a quick transcript:
JH: So what happens is the tree gets to a saw mill and it's hand-cut with a chainsaw.
And then what?JH: Then more and more wood is carved into really thin slices with a super-sharp blade.
Like a razor-sharp?JH: Like really, really sharp.
Gotta be messy.JH: Oh yeah, there's wood everywhere.
How long's something like that take.JH: Hours. They just keep cutting, cutting cutting ...
[Tree passes out.]
How'd you get your name in the bat?JH: Lasers. Bzzzzzzzzzzsh.