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Falcons Vs. Eagles: Five-Foot-Ten DeSean Jackson Calls Brent Grimes Short, We Think

In his conference call with Falcons media, Eagles WR DeSean Jackson described the Falcons’ secondary as such:

Well, Dunta Robinson and the other guy, he’s a little bit short and things like that.

How did we arrive at such a statement? Let’s retrace our steps.

DREAM HARPS

DeSean, what do you think about the Falcons’ secondary?

Well, Dunta Robinson.

It all starts with Dunta, doesn’t it?

And things like that.

Definitely, a secondary needs more than just one guy. Do you think Falcons defensive backs work well together?

Well, Dunta Robinson and the other guy.

… work hand-in-hand?

I would prefer not to.

What can you tell us about Dunta Robinson, DeSean?

I would prefer not to.

All right. How about the rest of the secondary?

And the other guy.

Brent Grimes, the other starting cornerback?

The other guy.

Brian Williams?

The other guy.

Can you tell us the name of which guy it is you’re talking about? This could take forever.

I would prefer not to.

Does he have five interceptions over his last eight games?

Well, Dunta Robinson.

No, Dunta Robinson doesn’t have any interceptions. They complain about it all the time on message boards and blogs. Do you ever read those?

He’s a little bit short.

He’s actually kind of big for a cornerback. Wait, I’m talking about Dunta, who are you talking about?

Things like that.

Brent Grimes is kind of like Dunta Robinson. They’re both Falcons cornerbacks.

And the other guy.

Now you’ve moved on to our nickel back?

I would prefer not to.

OK, back to Brent Grimes, or whoever. How do you think you match up with this individual?

He’s a little bit short.

And?

And things like that.

What things are like being short?

Well, Dunta Robinson.

Aren’t you kind of short, too?

Well, Dunta Robinson and things like that.

Thanks, DeSean.

Photographs by coka_koehler used in background montage under Creative Commons. Thank you.