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Ravens Vs. Falcons Sensational Headline: Ray Rice Successfully Bribes A Cop, Tweets About It

Baltimore Ravens RB Ray Rice apparently got pulled over for driving with car windows tinted beyond levels of darkness acceptable in the state of Maryland. He got off with a warning after signing an autograph for the police officer. How do we know this? Well, he went and tweeted about it. To paraphrase Stringer Bell’s quintessentially Baltimorean wisdom, “Is you tweeting notes on a criminal fucking conspiracy?”

Just got pulled over for my tints Smh but gave the officer a autograph for his son and he let me goless than a minute ago via Echofon

 

Sure sure this kind of thing happens every day and isn’t exactly putting any lives in danger. Athletes get to avoid ticky-tack crap all the time, and good for them. Tinted windows shouldn’t be illegal anyway. Whatever. And on a dollar-for-dollar level, a get-out-of-traffic-fine free card is probably less of a perk for the modern pro athlete than having companies shove free promo merch in your face or VIP sections clear tables for you at a moment’s notice. But still. Tweeting about getting a freebie from a cop?

Watch out for that APD when you come down here, Ray. If the University of Georgia’s athletic director can’t catch a break…

Photographs by coka_koehler used in background montage under Creative Commons. Thank you.