Your Atlanta sports TV schedule for college football Saturday. All times EST, as God intended.
↵Basketball
↵Dallas Mavericks at Atlanta Hawks, 8, SportSouth: After two close losses to good teams, the Mavs are mad enough to spit nails. The internet says this idiom comes from carpenters who kept nails in their teeth, which meant they only took them out to speak when speaking was very important. You'd have to be very mad to spit all the nails out of your mouth. Watch out, Hawks.
↵Football
↵Wisconsin Badgers at Michigan Wolverines, noon, ESPN or ESPN3: Pretty big names for a nooner. I think we're starting the day off right, too. The knock against Michigan's defense is that they can't stop the pass, and Wiscy doesn't pass anyway. They can't stop the run either, but shh shh shh. Today's my birthday. UPSET SPECIAL!
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↵Pittsburgh Panthers at South Florida Bulls, noon, ESPN2 or ESPN3: Big East football on a Saturday is like _______ (help us out, commenters!). You feel like it should've been done by Friday night. SIMILE CONTEST!
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↵N.C. State Wolfpack at North Carolina Tar Heels, noon, WUPA: This game, just like every other game being played today, has major ACC Atlantic title implications. Remember: for our best chances at getting to see two straight actually entertaining ACC Championship Games, root for the Pack to win the division.
↵Oklahoma St. Cowboys at Kansas Jayhawks, noon, Fox Sports South
↵Virginia Cavaliers at Boston College Eagles, noon, ESPNU
↵Troy Trojans at South Carolina Gamecocks, 12:21, WPCH or ESPN3: Not as 12:21 as last week's 12:21er. All we can hope for in this one is Stephen Garcia being left out well after the rest of the first-string offense has called it a day, with OBC commenting later that Stephen needed the reps.
↵Duke Blue Devils at Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, 1:30, ESPN3: It's come to this. I am nervous about Duke. Tech needs the win to lock up bowl eligibility, Duke's got a good quarterback, and Duke has already beaten a more disciplined flexbone option team. Join us here for fingernail-gnawin' updates and analysis all afternoon long.
↵Illinois Fighting Illini at Northwestern Wildcats, 3:30, ESPNU: Without hyperbole, I'm joining the many, many others who've called #WrigleyPickupRules the greatest Twitter hashtag game of all time. To explain, if you're just joining us: this game is being played at Wrigley Field, a baseball stadium, which has no room for a football field. Thus both teams' offenses will strive for the same end zone. This will only be the most-viewed Illinois-Northwestern game ever until next year, when they try out Jon Bois' eight-end-zones idea. GAME OF THE DAY WITHOUT ANY IRONY!
↵Ohio St. Buckeyes at Iowa Hawkeyes, 3:30, ABC: This is probably the actual game of the day. It's the most football college football game that will be played all day and possibly all season, occasionally loopy quarterbacks excepted. Tune in to see coaches carefully consider whether to go for it on third down. I'm trying to make this sound as boring as possible so we'll all watch the Wrigley game instead so Twitter will be awesome.
↵Mississippi Rebels at LSU Tigers, 3:30, CBS: The right Reverend Houston Nutt, having kept his promise and earned his team a trip to Atlanta, now goes for his annual WTFupset (sound it out in your mind, it sounds great). If you'd rather watch this instead of the big Big Ten game that'd be fine. Twitter will only watch the Wrigley thing until the first pick six anyway.
↵Virginia Tech Hokies at Miami Hurricanes, 3:30, ESPN or ESPN3: Another ACC big deal. The Hokies need a win to take the Coastal. Either of the two Coastal teams are suitably entertaining, though you'd prefer Miami if that doesn't make you sound greedy. As this is an ACC game, break away from Wrigley at the very end to see the 64-yard field goal attempt. It may or may not go in.
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↵Stanford Cardinal at California Golden Bears, 3:30, Fox Sports South
↵Arkansas Razorbacks at Mississippi St. Bulldogs, 7, ESPN or ESPN3: Bobby Petrino's big, bad passing attack invades Starkville, where crazier things have happened. Crazier than what? Just imagine.
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↵Army Black Knights at Notre Dame Fighting Irish, 7, NBC: To be played at Yankee Stadium. Two end zones. Yawn.
↵Tennessee Volunteers at Vanderbilt Commodores, 7:30, CSS or ESPN3: So pumped about Derek Dooley getting his first SEC winning streak.
↵Nebraska Cornhuskers at Texas A&M Aggies, 8, ESPN3
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↵Oklahoma Sooners at Baylor Bears, 8, ESPN2 or ESPN3
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↵Florida St. Seminoles at Maryland Terrapins, 8, ABC or ESPN3: The ACC schedule is seriously packed with drama today, folks. I'm not a Maryland believer, but losing to the Noles on a 71-yard field goal (wow!) in overtime (what?) will go down as their most impressive effort yet.
↵USC Trojans at Oregon St. Beavers, 8, ESPN3
↵San Jose St. Spartans at Hawaii Warriors, 10:30, ESPN3: Keep us up late with your high-scoring ways, West Coast football.
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