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SEC Football Schedule: Watch As The SEC East Slowly Begins To Devour Itself

Auburn and Georgia are undoubtedly Saturday's marquee game of interest in the Southeastern Conference (3:30 pm ET, CBS), as whatever's left to be settled before the SEC Championship and after the MEGA GREATEST MOST IMPORTANT GAME EVER can't be determined this weekend. If LSU stumbles, it won't be to Western Kentucky, while South Carolina will have to fight uphill against Florida and pull for Auburn to get back the SEC Eastern Division lead. 

Florida at South Carolina (Saturday, 12 Noon ET, CBS) The difference between the SEC and the ACC is that, in the Palmetto State, Clemson always "Clemsons," a cute fan-contrived term for the Tigers' eventually inexplicably losing games to inferior teams, whereas South Carolina just sucks ass at some point, sans witty verbiage. Florida could still clinch a New Year's Day Gator Bowl bid with wins here and against Florida State, not so much because the Gators deserve it, but because the SEC East is horrid (keep reading!) and the bowl selection process is a laughably corrupt process. 

Kentucky at Vanderbilt (Saturday, 12:21 p.m. ET, SECN) BOWL RELEVANCE APPLIES, and not just for the upstart Commodores. Even awful Kentucky is alive, as both teams (and Tennessee, see below) have four wins and are scrambling to close November with six. The winner of this game (Vanderbilt) will be in prime position for the Liberty or Music City Bowls. That's right Commodores - on the rarest instances that you can overcome the staggering odds and break .500, your reward is a 2.6 mile trip downtown to freeze your asses off on Christmas.

Tennessee at Arkansas (Saturday, 6 p.m. ET, ESPN2) Tennessee won't win this game, and will therefore be on even footing with the loser of the Kentucky/Vandy game to fistfight for bowl eligibility. Vol fans have been grumpy but patient as Derek Dooley completely rejiggers Lane Kiffin's mess, but not even famine or an Appalachia moonshine blight warrants BIg Orange losing to either the Commodores or Wildcats. Honky drama looms.

Western Kentucky at LSU (Saturday, 7 p.m. ET, ESPNU) Everything you've ever been told about "taking the season one game at a time" is proper bunk in Baton Rogue this week. The Tigers will play only their SECOND nighttime home game of the entire year, and with deliciously brittle WKU, they'll be able to spend the entire evening reveling in last week's 9-6 win over Alabama. If the jumbotron replayed the entire affair during the game with Western, no one would be shocked, and the Tigers would still cover the 41 points.

Louisiana Tech at Ole Miss (Saturday, 7:30 p.m. ET, CSS) The last seven days in Oxford, Mississippi, have been the least boring parts of "Gone With The Wind," as much fire and strife have engulfed the conference's preeminent Antebellum plantation. Sonny Dykes will become Rebel fans' go-to choice to replace lame duck Houston Nutt if Tech pulls an upset, if only to save what little face the proud, gentile tailgating-with-a-chandelier crowd has left. 

Alabama at Mississippi State (Saturday, 7:45 p.m. ET, ESPN) Our deepest sympathies to Dan Mullen and the Bulldogs, who are about to host a world of pain they didn't ask for. Expect Bama to exorcise every offensive demon they suffered against LSU. State's rotated quarterbacks throughout the season to mixed results, but if there's even a single touchdown pass thrown by the Bulldogs, Saban might simply drop the leash and enact a "scalps" policy for his headhunters. Eeesh. Nasty, nasty rebound football.

Photographs by coka_koehler used in background montage under Creative Commons. Thank you.