clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Jarvis Jones' Eligibility Means Fate Will Just Have To Get Creative

Georgia Bulldogs fans aren't quite sure whether to trust anything that resembles good news, but the school has confirmed the Atlanta Journal-Constitution's Tuesday morning report that LB Jarvis Jones has been found eligible to play in 2011 by the NCAA and SEC.

What a tragic development. It's like watching a Final Destination movie. I'm just guessing, because I've never seen any.

As a University of Georgia student-athlete, Jones is now free to be set upon by the Athens police force. Even if he doesn't own a scooter, he'll be found guilty of not giving his hypothetical scooter a middle name. Even if he hasn't yet been declared an energy vampire, he'll still find himself suspended due to a North Carolina player's social media strategies.

What does being suspended have to do with vampires? Duh, bats suspend themselves by their feet from overhangs and trees. Once at our old apartment, an associate and I had to throw Nerf footballs at a bat that was suspended 30 feet off the ground but still bumming everybody out by being a bat.

Vampires and football. The story has not yet come full circle, but it's close.

Stay tuned for more on this story. For more Georgia sports, visit Dawg Sports, and for more college football visit SB Nation NCAA Football.

Photographs by coka_koehler used in background montage under Creative Commons. Thank you.