If their Twitter accounts go suspiciously quiet, be sure to send up a prayer for Georgia teammates Aaron Murray and Watts Dantzler, who, on the quiet afternoon of July 3, were last seen floating dangerously close to the ominous waterfront Lake Burton fortress of one Nick Saban:
Hello Nick Saban twitter.com/aaronmurray11/…— Aaron Murray (@aaronmurray11) July 3, 2012
Our fear for Murray and Dantzler is very real, because years of Cinemax have taught us that's as suitable a setting for a Jessica Beal horror remake as any other. God forbid the Bulldog duo become captured and reprogrammed in some horrific regiment of I-form ISO handoff film study and a diet of Little Debbies.
We know Poseidon is the God of the Seas, but what diety oversees the Appalachian backwaters of North Georgia? Is that Ron White, maybe?
There's something so familiar about that house....
Hmmm.... Where have we seen this property listed before? (And by the way, what is that above the boat slip, a damn gun tower? An oversized aviary? ATTN, AUBURN: NICK SABAN IS TRAINING PTERODACTYL SNIPERS)
WAIT A MINUTE....