One of the best things about college football all-star games like the 2011 Senior Bowl is that NFL teams get a chance to evaluate player physiques on an equalized scale. Up until all-star game season, player measurements are left up to college staffs, meaning you get official claims as wild as a six-foot-eleventeen Georgia Tech safety running a 3.9 40-yard dash.
Thus, Senior Bowl weigh-ins are always a big deal. One of the best sources for this kind of thing, Draft Countdown, lists player heights, weights, and arm and hand measurements, but also includes helpful descriptions of each young man’s shirtless body. So yeah, creepy.
Reading through the list, the first one that jumps out and makes you think, “Oh, so we’re really going there,” is the “Great definition with a six-pack” given to Florida St. Seminoles QB Christian Ponder. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets RB Anthony Allen gets just about the same note.
Offensive linemen are credited as having manboobs and bubble butts, Miami Hurricanes DL Allen Bailey is gawked at as an “Adonis,” and LSU Tigers kicker Josh Jasper “looks like a grocery store stock boy.”
(My favorite: Boise State WR Austin Pettis has “extremely average” definition.)
It’s certainly all critical information, yes. But … OK, so there’s no real objection to be made. I read the whole thing like it was the most important news in the world, and I’m not ashamed.